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Wed, Jun. 8th, 2011, 06:25 pm
Where did they go?

You know, I've known plenty of people who were like me. People who would tell me how that hated the fact that their parents were druggies or alcoholics. My brother is a key example of this. We'd talk about how much it hurt our family that she was always so messed up. We vowed (and I vowed several times since, with several different people) that we weren't going to be like that. Anyone that knows my brother knows how that story had turned out so far. My dad has recently returned to drugs. Nothing hard, but annoying nonetheless. He spends no time with his daughter when he's home, instead preferring to do his shit in his shed with his nephew. It's not the drugs fault, but it does reinforce my stance against them.

I've been having trouble dealing with this for a long time. It all came back strong when my fuckhead grandfather started trying to talk to my sister. This is a guy who, to help my mom when we were broke, sent her a ton of drugs. I had many issues with him, but I buried them along with any concern for him.

I've stayed friends with some people who drink and smoke. And do drugs. They're rather shallow friendships, with some exceptions. A good deal of them don't really ever want to hang out. The few times I get invited I usually decline, as it's not quite the environment  I want to hang around.

Could I drink just one? Probably. Could I smoke once? Maybe. But I come from a family of fucking addicts. You think that's something that I logically want to fuck with? It's so fucking wreckless and stupid.

I've been told before that perhaps I alienate people. This is of no concern to me. I am exactly who I advertised. I've been consistent on this. I couldn't tell you what the hell makes one so opposed to drinking and drugs do them, but I'd venture to guess a weak will.